Living Her Passion - Abigail Ervin

Abigail Ervin creating an original art piece

Abigail Ervin does not know what she is doing or where she is going. She does not like to sit still or wear shoes. In fact, she does not like peas. Most of the time the only thing she is very certain of is that she likes to make art—and lots of it.

After being born into an artistic family, Abigail spent her childhood first in Tujunga Valley, California, and then in the tiny town of Neligh, Nebraska, where it seemed her desire to create was deep in her genes. Just like many others, Abigail started drawing as a toddler. The only difference is that she never stopped. Later after she graduated from high school and realized she needed to fund her wanderlust to see the world, she began selling her drawings. After funding a large portion of a trip to Africa with her earnings, Abigail happily recognized it was possible to make an income from her art. Since then, she has traveled to England, France, Switzerland, Germany, Austria, Liechtenstein, Italy, India, and throughout the United States, gathering life-altering experiences that shine through all her creations.

Once she developed a style and story, Abigail focused on placing her art in shows and markets while creating new pieces, marketing herself, and learning how to be a successful entrepreneur. Abigail, who openly admits she just fell into this role, is embracing the unknowns that come with being an artist in a competitive world. She says that if she had to pick a message behind her art it would be the same message she follows in her faith: truth, beauty, and goodness. Abigail adds, “The truth is that the world is always moving, changing, and judging us. Still, we’re not as alone as we think we are.”

An Abigail Ervin original

Abigail’s art can be described as both inspiring and honest as she often provides her audience with a glimpse into her heart, her sufferings, her love, and her hope for the future. Her commissions include not only self-portraits but also beautiful artwork for wedding events, greeting cards, booklets, tote bags, and t-shirts. Abigail’s future aspirations include writing and illustrating a children’s book, creating murals, and attending markets outside of the United States. She states, “My eyes have always seen a little bit further than the rest of my body, but I’ve never really seen that as a bad thing.”

Throughout her journey, Abigail has been supported by her family as well as Cameron, the love of her life who has been by her side through thick and thin. She loves interacting with her audience who often tell her that her art is relatable, which she says is a funny coincidence since she spent much of her life feeling she was not relatable. Today, she is gratified knowing that her artwork is helping others around the world who have endured the same struggles as she did in high school and beyond.

Now twenty-three, Abigail is busy juggling art projects and commissions along with a part-time job as a barista at a local coffee shop where she also handles social media and menu design. She states that although she has gained much from pursuing her passion, she is most proud of the confidence she has built to say (and believe), “I can do this.” Abigail advises others to pursue what they love. “If it’s something that makes you feel like you matter and it’s something that’s not hurting you or other people, then what are you waiting for? Something like that can only be good. Nothing ever happens if you don’t actually get up and go.”

Roger Fry once said, “Art is a passion or it is nothing.” When viewing Abigail Ervin’s art, one can see straight into her soul, a compassionate place that has seen its share of pain but now helps others know that they are never alone, and that there is always beauty in the darkness.

To view her portfolio or commission Abigail to create a special piece, visit her at http://abigailervin.com/.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Five Small Dietary Changes to Achieve Better Health

Photo by Sven Scheuermeier

It’s a phrase that can be annoying to some and inspiring to others. Either way you choose to view it, it’s true: We are what we eat. With that said, we all can make small changes every day that will take us down a new path to better health.

Below are five facts about diet with included goals that will help you incorporate and stick to small dietary changes that will make big differences in your long-term health:

1.      A reduction in red meats has been linked to a low incidence of stroke and coronary heart disease. Goal: Strive to eat just 4 ounces of lean red meat a week and vegetarian two times a week.

2.      Phosphoric acid (found in diet sodas) can disrupt nutrient absorption which speeds up the aging process, and gives us more wrinkles and a weaker frame. Goal: Strive to replace one diet soda a day with water until you are drinking water the majority of the time.

3.      More than 37 scientific studies show that eating oatmeal daily as part of a low-fat diet may help reduce the risk of heart disease. Goal: Make overnight oatmeal on the stove once a week by combining three cups of boiling water with 1 cup of steel cut oats. Cover and let sit overnight. In the morning, add milk to achieve desired consistency. Heat through and then refrigerate leftovers to eat for the rest of the week.

4.      A Mediterranean diet may help lower risk for certain diseases, improve mood, and boost energy levels. Goal: Make every effort to incorporate walnuts, whole grains, olive oil, fish, beans, blueberries, and low-fat dairy products like Greek yogurt into your diet every day.

5.      Heavy sugar consumption has been linked to an increased risk of depression. Goal: Read labels more often. Check for sugar content in foods that may seem like a healthier option (like yogurt) and compare with other brands. Choose the brand with the least amount of sugar (like plain Greek yogurt). Add a bit of honey and a handful of walnuts to add pizzazz.

It can be a daunting task to think about entirely changing the way we eat. But it is not as daunting to simply pay more attention to what we put into our mouths on a daily basis, practicing positive self-talk when we falter, listening to our bodies and doctors, and not comparing ourselves to anyone else. Once you set your goals, choose an accountability partner who believes in you, supports you, and is willing to help you achieve better health. Because in the end, it is not only good to be proud of who you are, but also of what you eat.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living Her Passion – Chelsey Erpelding

Chelsey Erpelding in her garden.

Chelsey Erpelding was a busy mother of two little ones, Edith and Bette, when she first began receiving Reiki, a Japanese technique that uses touch to activate the natural healing processes of the body and restore physical and emotional well-being. From that point on, Chelsey, who had become frustrated with the lack of support for mothers post-birth, was hooked on the nourishing effects of Reiki. Six months later, she began training to become a Reiki Master. It wasn’t long before her passion for healing, gardening, and creating natural products led her to open an online shop, Other Magic, LLC.

Chelsey, who holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a master’s degree in public health, always yearned to own a business. But it wasn’t until her path led her to healing work that Chelsey discovered her true passion. After her love of vegetable gardening inspired her to grow more herbs and medicinal plants and contemplate how she could incorporate them into her healing work, Chelsey’s backyard transformed into an organic oasis for roses, mint, lemon balm, yarrow, bee balm, valerian, lavender, sage, thyme, red raspberries, blueberries, goldenrod, anise hyssop, chamomile, and other flowers and vegetables.

In 2017, she began researching how to infuse her garden plants in oils. Soon she was creating nontoxic products to sell through Other Magic, LLC, that include Rose Oil made with yarrow, rose petals, and rosehips; Face Magic Oil made with chamomile, rose hips, and hibiscus that are all high in Vitamin C and great for skin; Magic Salve created with yarrow and plantain that is tailored to help heal deep dryness, burns, scrapes, and bites; and Lemon Balm made to use as a protective coating for hands and lips. Today she is studying herbalism and is excited to grow new plants and create more natural products to sell in her online shop.

Chelsey’s favorite part of owning a business is that she is doing what she loves. When she is not fulfilling the duties of motherhood or performing Reiki for her loyal clientele, Chelsey is busy harvesting her garden and developing products in her kitchen. She says, “Some products can take weeks to prepare, so some days I am creating and other days I am bottling or shipping.” By pursuing her passion, Chelsey claims she has gained a sense of calm about her life. She adds, “I spent most of my twenties trying to find my purpose. I can now happily say that I am finally doing what I feel I am meant to do. I also know now that finding purpose doesn’t always look like a nine-to-five job. Finding purpose means digging into the things you love.”

Supported by her husband Brent, her family, and an incredible group of female friends who are always cheering her on, Chelsey encourages others to find the courage to put themselves out there and pursue their passion, even if it causes them to feel vulnerable. “Sometimes it takes a while to connect all of the dots when thinking about a passion,” she says, “but stick with it. Spend time with people who inspire you, do the things you love as often as you can, and keep your mind open to creative solutions.”

Vincent Norman Peale once said, “The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have.” When Chelsey Erpelding uses her hands to heal through touch or to plant medicinal herbs in her garden that will eventually be turned into natural products, there is no question she is investing in something much bigger than herself: helping others find happiness and inner-peace through healing.

For more about Chelsey and her products, visit her at https://www.othermagic.org/.

Ways to Effectively Manage Your Time

Managing time effectively is a challenge that many of us will battle our entire lives, especially while living within a world fueled by ever-changing technology, constant distractions, and devices that demand our attention 24/7. No matter how hard we try to stay focused on one task at a time on our to-do lists, some days it seems like we’re treading water and going nowhere.

Food journals are a wonderful way to track what we eat, when we eat, and why we are eating. When learning how to effectively manage your day, keeping a time journal that is similar in style to a food journal can help.

For one week, track every hour of every day. After logging every hour of your day for at least five days, review the schedules and identify the distractions that pulled you away from your focus. Although we all face unanticipated distractions every day, there are ways to rectify some of the more common time wasters:

1. Plan, plan, and plan some more. Fill your car with gas every Sunday night. Unless you’re driving 50+ miles a day, a full tank should last you all week. Find innovative ways to prepare ahead of time so you aren’t frantically running around at the last minute. Plan your meals for a week so you aren’t wandering the grocery store aisles every night, looking for ideas. At the end of each day, create a to-do list for the next day. To-do lists really help us DO and avoid procrastination.
2. Limit your time on social media and your phone. Set aside certain times of the day to check social media. These times should last no longer than 15 minutes and should ideally be just twice a day. Set an alarm on your phone when you are ready to begin checking social media. When it goes off, close out all your accounts. Better yet, remove social media apps from your phone. Turn sound notifications off on your phone. Place it face down on the desk or in a drawer when you need to focus on a project. Make a pledge to read the news only once a day. It’s plenty.
3. Recognize the other time wasters. Whether it’s a chatty co-worker or social events, there are ways to gently extract yourself from situations you have identified as time wasters. It’s perfectly acceptable to tell a co-worker that you only have a couple of minutes to listen now, but would be happy to schedule a lunch at another time to chat. It’s also fine to extract yourself from social events that feel obligatory instead of enjoyable. When you learn to say “no,” you open yourself up to living a life not driven by obligations, but instead by what makes you happy.

No matter how hard we try, no day ever turns out how we plan. But it is possible to be productive, despite the distractions, if we learn to first recognize and then deal with our unique time wasters.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living His Passion - Derek Caster

Derek Caster was just six years old when he was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy, a group of diseases that causes weakness and progressive muscle loss. During a time when he should have been learning to ride a bike and read books, Derek was facing much bigger challenges. As he continued to grow up in Papillion, Nebraska, and bravely endured the symptoms of MD, Derek learned much about people and the world.

As he moved from walking to using a mobility scooter and eventually to relying on a wheelchair, Derek says his experience was both physically and mentally draining as he gradually lost the ability to do things that others take for granted like lifting his phone to his ear to make a call, drinking without a straw, giving high-fives, hugging people, and even properly shaking hands. Throughout all his challenges, Derek was nurtured and supported by his parents, Tammy and Darin, and older sister, Courtney. Derek adds, “Although my family has gone through struggles not familiar to many, we are also stronger because of it.”

In 2004 and 2005, a then nine-year-old Derek founds one of his passions after he was selected to be the Nebraska state ambassador for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. Derek was selected again for the important position in 2016 and 2017. His role was to attend events and visit businesses to share his story and advocate for MDA to promote fundraising. He adds, “Speaking in front of crowds and watching the impact of my words on the audiences was therapeutic. I really enjoyed being a positive light in a world filled with so much darkness.” Because MDA does not receive government funding, all their research and other work must be funded through events. Today, Derek serves as a local ambassador who continues to advocate for MDA and all they do. In all his roles for MDA, he has most enjoyed watching complete strangers compassionately help someone in need.

At age twenty-three, Derek has built an impressive list of accomplishments. After picking up graphic design as a hobby, Derek eventually realized it was something he wanted to do for a career when he was a junior in high school. “I love seeing something transform from a simple idea to a completed design,” Derek states. He recently graduated from Bellevue University’s online program with a bachelor’s degree in graphic design, and plans to continue his work as a solo graphic designer at his business, D Rollin Designs, providing high-quality work to a variety of clients.

There is no question that we can all learn from Derek’s perspective on the world. Now twenty-three, Derek is able to look back on what he has learned since he has been wheelchair-bound. “I’ve noticed the way strangers treat me. Often they talk slower to me or ask questions to the people I am with instead of myself. It’s like people see a wheelchair and immediately think I am not mentally there. They don’t see a person with hopes and dreams like themselves.” Additionally, Derek sometimes becomes frustrated when events or buildings are not wheelchair-friendly or accessible as it limits fun activities with his friends and family.

Derek advises anyone who is facing their own challenges to rely on family and friends to help navigate the hard times, gift themselves with moments of peace and mental clarity, and focus on the good things in life. He credits his own support group of family and friends with helping him by encouraging him to chase his dreams, treating him like a regular person, and helping him understand that sometimes everything isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

Rikki Rogers once said, “Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you thought you couldn’t.” In looking at Derek Caster’s accomplishments to date, it is evident that he focuses on his strengths not his obstacles, and lives boldly with great hope for his future.

By living his truth, Derek serves as inspiration that we too can choose to live the same way.

For more about muscular dystrophy or to learn how you can help / donate, visit https://www.mda.org/.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Learn to Let Go and Live Minimally

George Carlin, the now deceased comedian known for his sarcastic wit, once said, “A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.” It’s true. Whether we want to admit it or not, many of us have accumulated enough stuff throughout our lifetime to fill a house. Then when we think we have too much stuff, we don’t declutter, but instead buy a bigger house so we have more room for all our stuff!

Having a lot of stuff weighs us down. When we spend money on things we want, but don’t really need, we need to take a step back and evaluate why we are buying each item. If we are really honest with ourselves, are we buying a new dress or couch or phone because we’re lonely? Bored? Stressed? Trying to keep up with everyone else around us? Although this way of thinking forces us to look inward every time we reach for our credit or debit card, it is an excellent exercise that helps curb spending and forces us to focus on what we really need in our lives. If you’re always spending money on material items you don’t really need, how will you afford to travel to places you’ve always wanted to see?

If you feel weighed down by clutter, it’s never too late to begin removing it from your life. It’s easiest to break the project down into small pieces and accept that it will take you more than a day to complete. Think in terms of rooms instead of an entire house or apartment. Start with your bathroom. What can you remove from your medicine cabinet? For information on safely discarding medications, visit https://www.fda.gov. Do you have old shampoo bottles under your sink? Expired makeup or lotions? Toss anything older than six months old. Do you really need 20 bottles of nail polish or five different brands of hair gel?

Next, move to your bedroom closet. While going through items one-by-one, determine if you have worn the item in the last year. If you haven’t, toss it in a bin to take to a thrift store. If you have been holding onto your old concert t-shirts, evaluate if you wear them at least once every two weeks. If not, then either have a quilt made from them or take a photo of each one and create a wall collage. Recycle old hangars. Give away all shoes that are too painful to wear. And from this point on, pledge that for every new item you buy and place in your closet, you give another one away.

When decluttering your kitchen, start with your spices first. Check expiration dates and toss any that are past their prime. Look at all your small gadgets and appliances. Do you need five spatulas or just two? Do you use your immersion blender every week or just once every two years? Toss any dishes that are chipped or cracked and nonstick pots and pans that are scratched. Move to your pantry and refrigerator and toss any expired food items or leftovers in your freezer that have been there since cell phones were invented. Tackle your junk drawer and discard all of those refrigerator magnets you've been saving, old pencils and pens, and receipts.

Once you have decluttered your entire space, sit back and enjoy the feeling that comes with removing items that have been weighing you down. Then vow to take another pass at all your material items again in three months. You’ll be surprised at how much more you’ll toss again.

When we focus on making memories instead of accumulating stuff, we are happier, less stressed, and able to look forward into a future that does not overwhelm us but instead frees us to live in the moment and embrace the happiness that comes with living more minimally.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living Her Passion - Judi Koubsky

Judi Koubsky on the University of Nebraska Omaha campus

Judi Koubsky gives all the credit for her passion for learning to a kindergarten teacher years ago who told her she was smart and would be a wonderful student. But even as little Judi took her teacher’s words to heart, she had no idea that her life’s path would eventually lead her to become such a passionate learner again later in life.

After marrying her high school sweetheart at age nineteen, Judi loyally supported her husband, Paul, who was attending college to become a teacher. Five years later, she was a busy mother to three children who worked a variety of jobs outside the home until she finally landed at Coopers & Lybrand, an international accounting firm with an office in Omaha, Nebraska. As she moved up within the ranks as an executive assistant to the partners and finally to support staff supervisor, Judi’s appetite for learning never disappeared. After passing her Certified Professional Secretary’s test in 1979, Judi decided to take other courses to expand her horizons. As the years passed and her children became adults, Judi enrolled in community college and completed several business courses. But when her husband, Paul, died after forty years of marriage and she eventually retired, Judi’s life took a new turn.

When a friend set her up with Denny, a former classmate at South High School, Judi soon realized she had been blessed again with a wonderful man. In 2005, they married and celebrated their second chance at happiness. As they traveled the world together and enjoyed health, Judi continued her life of serving others. But in 2016 when she advised her two granddaughters to continue attending college without taking a break, Judi had to answer a difficult question posed to her by one of her granddaughters. “But you didn’t finish college did you, grandma?” Judi states, “Although I had to answer ‘no’ because I couldn’t afford it, the question still weighed on my mind as I thought about why I hadn’t yet obtained my degree.” Returning to college had always been her goal, but life, motherhood, travels, and her volunteer work had taken precedence. Judi wouldn’t have changed her past for anything, but now, something great was stirring inside her.

Now motivated to make her long-held dream finally come true, Judi resigned from all her charitable work and made an appointment with an advisor at the University of Nebraska Omaha to learn the next steps. Because she now had the money to fund school, Judi knew there was nothing holding her back from becoming a student again at age seventy-three. After she told her husband, children, grandchildren, and friends the news she was returning to college, none of them acted like she was crazy. “They all encouraged me to go for it,” says Judi. As her daughter, Jill, noted in a social media post, “We are all bursting with pride!”

Two years later, Judi has completed 106 credit hours, leaving just 14 hours until she earns a bachelor’s degree in multidisciplinary studies. She adds, “Campus classes are my favorite because of the fun interaction with the other students. I love to hear their stories and what they are going to do with their lives. I love that I am old enough to be their grandmother but they are comfortable including me in their groups.” But the bottom line is that Judi loves learning new thoughts and concepts that are so unlike her own life experiences.

A typical day for Judi is busy. In addition to reading, preparing her assignments, and studying for tests, Judi also serves as a Eucharistic minister in her church, a bereavement companion for those who have lost family members, and as a supportive grandmother to her nine grandchildren who are involved in many activities.

Judi’s favorite part about her new chapter in life is that she has gained self-confidence and is growing every day in knowledge and not just vegetating. She offers great advice for those who want to pursue their passion in life, no matter what their age. “If you know there is something you are very passionate about, don’t let anything stop you from your goal. Even small steps will eventually have you at the finish line.”

Catherine Pulsifer once said, “Life isn’t about your age. Life is about living.” As a current college student at age seventy-five, Judi is a shining example to all the youth around her that it is never too late to be everything you dream you can be.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

How to Write a Happy Story Every Day

It can be a seemingly daunting request to write a happy story in just four words. But a recent Twitter hashtag prompted many around the world to take a stab at it. What resulted was an inspiring list of posts that included:

Had courage to change.

Passionately living my dream.

Love makes a family.

No one’s truly alone.

Sometimes even a creative hashtag can become a gentle reminder of how we should be mindfully living on a daily basis. When the sun rises each morning, we all face an important choice whether to write a happy story or a negative one.

Contemplating how to write our own happy story forces us to look inward and find gratitude for love, kindness, or friendship—not things—and also to embrace awareness for our purpose in life. Asking introspective questions of ourselves is a wonderful way to grow personally while making a positive contribution to the world.

Tomorrow, before your feet hit the floor, close your eyes and think about how you want your story to be written. Tap into your emotions and then recognize all you are feeling. Then think about how you want to conduct yourself despite your challenges. How do you want people to remember their interactions with you? What do you want to accomplish that will make you happy?

Keep a journal next to your bed. After you have identified your story for the day, write it down. Some examples might be:

Today I am going to:

Make a positive difference in someone’s life.

Show confidence in all I do.

Treat myself like I would a friend.

Practice positive self-talk.

Believe in myself and my abilities.

Take one step toward making my dreams come true.

Tell my children I love them no matter what.

Remember, you are the only one who can tell your story. Although you may not have the power over unforeseen events or hurdles that may occur along the way, you do have the power over your attitude and how you choose to impact those around you.

Writing your own happy story every day allows you to live in the moment and create the life you deserve. With every sunrise comes a new beginning. Get busy writing.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living Her Passion - Jean Thares

Jean Thares, Owner Mainstream Boutique of Northfield

As a busy Minneapolis mother and wife, Jean Thares always enjoyed her career outside the home that allowed her the flexibility to be there for her family. Still, she recognized the nagging feeling inside that she needed more. After raising her son and daughter, Jean stood at a crossroads, uncertain of where to go next. With help from her husband, she began brainstorming.

A self-professed lover of clothes and unique pieces, Jean had been a long-time loyal customer of Mainstream Boutique, a Minnesota-based women's clothing retailer built to empower, strengthen, and celebrate women through fashion. While researching franchise opportunities, Jean completed several assessments to discover what would make her happy. After each assessment pointed to working with women, Jean decided to take the plunge and open her own Mainstream Boutique.

Jean confesses she was afraid to own a business. “It was definitely easier to keep working for someone else.” While coming to grips with the fact that many new businesses fail, Jean says that weighing the pros and cons became an extremely important part of her research and decision to start a business. She adds, “It’s easy to be inspired by the stories of successful businesses instead of failed businesses. But studying failures is an essential part of the analysis before investing in a business.”

Once Jean made the decision, her opening came together quickly. Four months from the time she decided on the location, signed the franchise and leasing agreements, and hired a contractor to perform the build-out, Jean opened her boutique. Supported by her family and friends as well as other franchise owners, Jean soon realized how much she loved meeting people and helping her clientele find their own unique style and feel good about themselves.

Just like any business, there are challenges that come with the joys. Jean says that hiring and keeping excellent staff is her greatest challenge. “It takes the right person to help a woman find what she looks good in,” she adds. “I have had to adjust my schedule to work nearly every Saturday so I can be there for my customers. Being a present owner, rather than an absent owner, does make a difference to your business, sales, customers, and employees.”

Jean loves the variety that comes with owning a boutique for over two years now. She switches gears a lot between answering emails, posting on social media, working with vendors, directing employees, helping customers, paying bills, and attending networking functions. It is clear she has gained much since opening the boutique. “I’ve grown as a person and have met so many fabulous women. I also have a better understanding and appreciation for challenges in women’s lives.” Although Jean is careful not to focus on the success of the business all the time, she does feel a sense of accomplishment and pride when she looks back and sees how far she’s come as a business owner.

Mainstream Boutique of Northfield

Her advice for someone who wants to open a business is sound. “Research and try to work in the business before signing any agreements. Decide what you are willing and able to sacrifice in your personal life. Find a good bookkeeper. Partner with people who know how to do things you don’t know how to do.”

Mark Twain once said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” There is no question that Jean Thares is a sailor at heart who waited for the right wind to carry her to achieving her dream. And every day when she walks into her boutique, she inspires other women to do the same.

For more about Mainstream Boutique of Northfield, visit: https://www.facebook.com/mainstreamboutiquenorthfield/

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Five Ways to Work through Life’s Challenges

Photo by Koushik Chowdavarapu

Life has a way of throwing challenges our way when we least expect them. One day we’re motoring along on our journey through life without major bumps in the road. But then when we least expect it, life throws a curve in the road that sends us in a direction we never anticipated. Oftentimes, an unexpected turn of events causes us to wonder if we are expected to overcome obstacle alone.

Navigating through challenges is like driving in a snowstorm. Even though you are a cautious driver, your car suddenly hits a patch of ice and, in just a few seconds, lands in a ditch. As you assess the situation, you realize you are the only car on the road. Suddenly you begin to panic. You have two choices: to attempt to shovel yourself out or to call for help. It’s hard to know what to do.

Unfortunately we will all face our own snowstorm at one point or another in life—and the same two choices. So, how do we know when to shovel ourselves out of a situation or ask for help? Here are five ways to work through a challenge and determine whether you need help from an expert:

1.      Assess the situation objectively. If your car is stuck in a ditch during a snowstorm, you’re going to get out and look at how bad it is, right? Then you’re going to determine if you can shovel your way out or if you need a tow truck. When assessing the situation, view the challenge as a stranger would. What is the worst possible outcome? Can I solve this challenge on my own and remain safe? What are the ways I can solve this challenge?

2.      Try a few solutions on your own first. Stay calm and go into problem solving mode. Mentally go over solutions or list them out on paper. Work through the problem one step at a time, just like a math student would. Select one of the options and try it. If it doesn’t work, try another. If your problem is not solved within a comfortable timeframe, then it is time to try another option.

3.      Be open. When seeking help from an outside source, you must first be honest with yourself and then with them. By showing your true self and communicating candidly, you are allowing the person who is trying to help see the entire picture, not just the movie trailer. Be open to ideas and solutions. Be willing to walk down a new path to find the answers.

4.      Learn from the challenge. What is your positive takeaway from this challenge? Could you have prevented it from happening? If so, how? If the challenge was unpreventable, determine one lesson you can extract from the experience that will help you become a better person. Remember, in every experience—good or bad—there is something to learn.

5.      Look forward, not back. It is easy to continually reflect on our most challenging moments, especially when they were negative. But when we are always looking back, it doesn’t allow us to see the beauty in front of us. Chalk up your challenge to a valuable life lesson and, as quickly as you can, do your best to move on.

Working through life’s challenges can be … well … challenging. Following these five steps will help guide you out of the snowstorm and to embracing the message behind the challenge, realizing a newfound resilience, and finding your way back to the road that leads to achieving all your goals.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.