mindset

How to Begin Creating Lasting Positive Change

How are you caring for yourself today?

Did this question make you stop and think about yourself for a change? Most of us tend to put others before ourselves (our boss, our children, our partner or our spouse). But what about you? What you are doing today to care for yourself? If you can’t think of one thing, then it’s definitely time to reexamine your life and your habits. It is not wrong to think of yourself first. In fact, it is healthy to think of yourself first.

Creating positive change in your life doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, dedication, and perseverance to determine the best path forward. Below is one practice, if relied on consistently, can transform your mindset and life.

Find gratitude for three things every day.

There are many positive benefits of implementing a consistent gratitude practice into each day.

According to the Mayo Clinic, the benefits of a daily gratitude practice can improve sleep, mood, and immunity. Being thankful can also decrease depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and risk of disease.

With such obvious amazing benefits, it’s hard to believe that so many do not make this practice an important part of their day.

This does not have to be a complicated practice, or one that you dread. This will become a more natural practice after you’ve been doing it for a while.

It doesn’t matter what time of day you find time to be thankful. Instead, find a time that works best for you and then focus on consistency. Your time might be first thing in the morning. Or for someone else, it might be right before going to sleep at night. Others might want to identify three things they’re thankful for during their lunch hour or when their children are taking a nap.

The things you find you are grateful for are often the simplest gifts life offers (and rarely material items). It might be someone who made you smile, or held a door open for you, or slowed down so you could merge into their lane. It might be your first sip of coffee in the morning, or a beautiful sunrise, or a hug from a friend, or a great review from your boss. It might be your past experiences for they helped you grow into who you are today. Everyone’s list is different, but equally as important and valuable to their mental health.

If you don’t want to keep a journal or notebook, then there are other ways to practice gratitude.

Keep a gratitude jar. Every day, write down three things you’re grateful for on a slip of paper and drop it into the jar. Whenever you need a boost, choose a paper from the jar and read it.

Find a memento and keep it with you every day. It might be a bracelet or necklace or a tiny rock in your pocket. When you touch it, silently say three things you are grateful for.

No matter which practice you choose, make it your own and then believe in its power to slowly transform your life and attitude. As Mary Davis once said, “The more grateful I am, the more beauty I see.” Are you ready to see more beauty?

Now I have one more ask of you today. Repeat this phrase three times either out loud or to yourself:

I have a blessed life.

Pay attention to how this makes you feel after you repeat it three times. It will bring you peace and the knowledge that life brings you exactly what you need … exactly when you need it.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

The Value of Setting a Daily Intention

We are all guided by values we hold close. Just like we are all different, our values are as well. Yet even though we do our best to place importance on our values on a regular basis, we sometimes push ahead in life without remembering what they are or using them to help guide our decisions and realize goals.

There is tremendous value in reviewing our bigger goals and then setting a daily intention for ourselves that helps us get there, one step at a time. Intentions can be set in the mind or documented through a daily journaling practice that invites us to look back whenever we want to see how far we have traveled while on our personal growth journeys. Writing down an intention for the day as the sun rises allows us to look forward to see the possibilities that await us. Every sunset provides an opportunity to review our intentions and determine whether they were valuable in helping us get to where we want to be. If not, there is always tomorrow to reset and create a better intention.

The beautiful thing about the intention-setting practice is that you are in charge of the entire process. An intention can address your desire to take better care of yourself, it can address how you want to present yourself to the world, or it can address a specific goal. There are no rules. Setting an intention every day places you on a clear path. You are the expert of your own life. You know what you need and want. Intentions gently remind you of what you need and want and then help you get there.

Here are a few examples:

To be guided by joy and love in all I do today.

To let go of the sense of urgency to get everything done today.

To find and embrace the inner peace that is always within my reach.

To eat healthfully and treat my body like a sacred vessel.

To look forward, not back.

To practice gratitude for all the simple gifts life provides every day.

To just be.

To find purpose in every step I take today.

To be okay with where I am right here, right now.

To walk with confidence.

To journey in grace with myself and others.

To be okay with whatever happens today and in whatever order it comes.

Setting intentions is a powerful practice that can guide you to attain the life you desire. All you have to do is wait for the next sunrise to start the transformation.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Where Does Happiness Come From?

In Tanzania, the power often goes out during a rainstorm. On a recent occasion, a group of small children applauded instead of complaining about the darkness. When an adult asked them why they were so happy to be in the dark, they replied, “Now we can sit around a candle and talk about our days.” Later, the children decided to also seize the moment to dance and sing. 

Even at such a young age, these children have already grasped that happiness comes from recognizing each moment—even the inconvenient or challenging ones—as an opportunity to find joy and learn. 

Happiness comes from the moments when we are able to find joy in the little gifts that life places in front of us. It is about changing our perspective. It is about practicing gratitude for the teachable experiences that provide a valuable lesson for us to take forward in a positive way. 

Instead of lamenting about how difficult life can be at times, we choose to identify the blessings and then readjust our mindset by asking ourselves, “What do I need to do differently in this moment to feel gratitude instead of resentment?” 

Life is challenging, unpredictable, and full of change. Happiness can sometimes be elusive. Even so, it is important to remember that we have more control over how we react and feel about our experiences than we think. 

Change your perspective and invite happiness in to celebrate every teachable moment with you. 

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com. 

How to Persevere through Change and Obstacles

While participating in a school track meet, a ten-year-old boy accidentally ran right out of one of his sneakers. In a split second, he made a choice that would dictate how he would navigate through his life from that point forward. Instead of stopping to pick it up or put it back on, he quickly adjusted his mindset, left the shoe behind, kept running, and beat all his competitors to win the race. A few years later, that same boy went on to secure two gold medals in the Olympics.

“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races, one after the other.”

–Walter Elliott

Perseverance is critical to achieving our goals, navigating through change, and enduring unforeseen challenges. Even though we all understand the importance of perseverance to help us stay focused while on a journey through change or to find contentment or success in life, our inner-critic often attempts to override our best intentions to keep at it by telling us, “You can’t do this,” or “You’re not good enough,” or “You will probably fail.” As a result, this fixed mindset ultimately holds us back from achieving our dreams, learning, and experiencing life in its fullest form. Although this fixed mindset can feel comfortable and safe, it most likely leaves us feeling stagnant, miserable, and hopeless. The good news is that a fixed mindset is a habit that can be changed.

“Perseverance is a choice. It’s not a simple, one-time choice; it’s a daily one …”

–Margaret J. Wheatley

In order to persevere through challenging times or even routine everyday experiences, it is possible to make decisions, even in seconds, that push us to continue on, if for no other reason than to see what’s around the next corner. By changing our internal dialogue from “You can’t do this,” to “You can try and see where this leads you,” we are making a conscious decision to alter our perspective to a growth mindset, a belief that encourages us to change the course of our lives through action.

“It always seems impossible until it’s done,”

–Nelson Mandela

The next time you are facing a seemingly insurmountable obstacle or a change that terrifies you, think about the story of the ten-year-old boy who made a split-second choice to persevere, readjust his mindset, and finish the race strong. 

By setting small action steps every day that move you forward, quiet your inner-critic, guide you around obstacles, and help you press through change, you too can persevere to achieve great things.


Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoac

Are You Living in the Past, the Future, or the Present?

randy-tarampi-IgXZdzNM1Wc-unsplash.jpg

“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future,

focus on living fully in the present.” ―Roy T. Bennett

There are three ways to live life. One is to constantly return to the past where we seize the opportunity to identify our regrets, relive our mistakes, and question why we have had to endure challenges.

The second is to live in the future where we seemingly believe that if we gaze into an imagined crystal ball, we can somehow predict everything that is going to happen to us, even when we know deep inside that life is more often unpredictable than not.

Finally, we can choose to live in the present, where we are mindfully aware that we are most content when we embrace every moment with wonderment, gratitude, and curiosity.

While it is sometimes helpful to return to the past to heal old wounds or identify learning lessons to take forward in a positive way, or to temporarily look into the future in order to set attainable goals or pinpoint how to align ourselves with our best life, living in the present invites us to journey to a place of acceptance where we openly welcome all that life brings, both good and bad, while knowing that with each experience, we are provided with an opportunity to learn and become better versions of ourselves.

As terrific as that idea sounds, it can seem like a daunting task, especially when we have been living in either the past or the future for some time. So what can we do to make this task become more effortless?

First, practice becoming mindfully aware of when you are expending unnecessary energy to return to the past to beat yourself up or attempting to imagine a future that has not unfolded.

When you realize you are living in the past or future, gently bring your mind back to the here and now. Look around you. Really see everything: your family members, the flowers in your garden, or your pets. Identify one thing to be grateful for right now. Breathe.

Lastly, think of an easy phrase that allows you to bring yourself back to the present whenever you find yourself living elsewhere. That phrase could be, “Here and now,” or “Stay focused,” or “Be present.” Repeat this phrase several times until you feel yourself right here, right now, in this moment.

If you find yourself living in the past or the future, remember that you are not alone. Everyone deals with this challenge at some point in their lives. With that said, it is important to note that the most content people have developed and then incorporated a consistent daily practice that promotes a “be here now” mindset.

Be patient with yourself as you begin this practice. Even the best habits take time to implement. You are here to learn and grow. By implementing this disciplined practice, you are doing just that.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————

“Sometimes what a person needs is not a brilliant mind that speaks, but a patient heart that listens.” —Unknown

To subscribe to the blog or schedule a call with Vicky: https://www.crossthebridgecoaching.com/contact

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.