While navigating through decades of different professional roles over a lifetime, we can often feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and that a variety of outside factors are controlling our lives and career paths. Yet with experience comes valuable lessons that, if carried forward in a positive way, can make us feel empowered, fulfilled, and positive about the future.
Lesson 1: Watch for red flags (and trust them). During job interviews or while working in a role, we may see red flags that provide us with an uncomfortable feeling that something isn’t right for us. Unfortunately, we often push down this feeling and tell ourselves, “You can muddle through this,” or “That can’t be right,” or “I’ll just ignore it. It’s not a big deal.” Trust these red flags. They are life’s way of guiding you away from situations or people that do not align you with your best life.
Lesson 2: Rely on your intuition / gut feelings to guide your decisions. When facing a choice in life as to which direction to go, sit in a quiet room away from all distractions and influences from others and ask yourself, “What do I really want for myself here?” Then pay attention to the feeling in your gut while you are contemplating your options. If you feel excited about an option, that is your intuition telling you it’s right for you. If you feel dread, that is your intuition telling you to find a different way forward. Believe your intuition. It rarely lies.
Lesson 3: Know that you control your professional destiny. Don’t surrender your power over your career and professional destiny to someone else. While interviewing, be curious and know that you have the power to make a good decision for yourself. Before you walk in the door, know what will make you happy. Ask good questions and pay attention to the answers. While in a role, don’t ignore feelings that something is going on behind the scenes. If you sense there are big changes ahead, remember that you control whether you stay or go. Don’t wait for something to happen. Update your resume. Talk to a career coach. Begin networking. Always be looking for the next great opportunity.
Lesson 4: Seek professional chemistry. Interviewing is like dating. Just like when searching for a great life partner, you should be seeking great professional chemistry with a hiring manager. If it’s not there, it’s not there. Are you going to be happy if you don’t have a connection with your superior? Are you going to be happy if you can’t trust him or her? Will you be able to be honest and communicate effectively to accomplish great things together? Are you going to be fulfilled if your superior doesn’t have your back? Chemistry is important. Keep searching until you find it.
Lesson 5: Avoid settling. Confidence is an incredibly important factor in attaining professional success and accomplishing great things in life. Settling for less than you deserve will not help you or those you work with. Knowing what you want (before interviewing) and then making confident decisions will propel you forward into your best life. Great decisions do not ever come from a place of desperation. Don’t settle. You deserve better.
Lesson 6: Keep learning. Your education doesn’t stop when you earn a degree, a certificate, or a license. Be a lifelong student who embraces the idea that it’s never too late to refine a skill or learn a new concept. Learn from those around you. Everyone has something to teach. Everyone has something to learn.
Lesson 7: Step outside your comfort zone. Life begins outside the comfort zone. Take it one day at a time. Every day, do something (it doesn’t have to be a big thing) that makes you feel a little uncomfortable. These experiences provide the best lessons. Live without regret. Be open to new adventures. Recognize your fears and then take one baby step every day toward addressing those fears.
Lesson 8: Empower others to be the best versions of themselves. You are not just here on Earth for yourself. You are here for others as well. You probably remember one piece of advice or words of encouragement that you received long ago that changed everything for you. Be that person for someone else. Tell them how proud you are of them. Tell them when they do a good job. Support them through a challenge. When you empower others to be the best versions of themselves, you also become the best version of yourself.
Lesson 9: Be honest with yourself about what you want / need. You are the expert of your own life. Not your parents, your friends, your co-workers, or your boss. Make a list of professional wants and needs. Hang it where you can see it every day. Work toward checking off every item on the list. The more wants and needs you can fulfill, the happier you will be.
Lesson 10: Listen to understand, not reply. Actively listening is a skill you should be refining your entire life. You owe it to yourself and those around you to pay attention. If you have trouble focusing during a conversation, take notes. Circle things that you want to address once the person is done talking. Be in the present moment. Listening intently is a form of kindness. Be kind and respectful by taking the time to really listen.
Your career is yours and yours alone. Don’t sacrifice your happiness. Take time to make good decisions for yourself, keep learning, listen to the red flags and your gut, and listen to and respect those around you. Then teach what you have learned to empower others to believe in themselves, their unique professional paths, and all they have to offer the world.
Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.
